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GrandBob: Corny Jokes

Q: What did the right shoe say to the left shoe?

A: I think we must be sole mates.
Doug Manny Graves
Q: If a fruit grows on a fruit tree, what kind of tree does a chicken grow on?
A: A poultree

Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff!
Harry Head
If the police arrest a mime do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent? And if he says a bad word, does his mother wash his hands out with soap?
Lefty Fielder
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A: No eye-deer
Clampett Fermer
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

A: Still no eye-deer
Jay Walker
Did you hear about the dolphin who lost his best friend. He no longer had any porpoise in life.
Karen Farr Peoples
An invisible man married an invisible woman. Their children weren't much to look at either.
Canby Wilder
RIDDLE: What does everyone make, no matter how old they are?

BILLY: Mistakes!
Cam Corder
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Harry Combs
BILLY: Dad, were you really smart when you were in school?

DAD: Was I smart? Let me tell you, Billy. Why, I was so smart I graduated in the top 95% of my class!!!
Wanda Rover
I've seen a chicken catch a bug, but I've never seen a chicken catch a Tory.
Artie Painter
TEACHER: Billy, why did Robin Hood rob from the rich?
BILLY: Because the poor didn't have any money.
Aly Layne
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Robin Banks
Is Taco Bell the Mexican phone company?
Penny Nichols
Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.
Manley Beard
TEACHER: Billy, why won't you help your sister with her homework?
BILLY: Because I can't be a brother and assist her too!
Summer Winters
Is there another word for "synonym"?
Archie Gladd
PATIENT: Doctor, please help me. Every time someone comes in our yard I bark like a dog.
DOCTOR: How long have you had this problem?
PATIENT: Ever since I was a puppy.
Curley Q. Fries
PATIENT: Doctor, my memory is slipping. I can't seem to remember anything.
DOCTOR: How long have you had this problem?
PATIENT: What problem?
Candy Kayne
One One was a race horse.
Two Two was one too.
One day One One won a race.
Two Two won one too.
Tanner Hyde
BILLY: Teacher, what is 5Q plus 5Q?
BILLY: You're welcome!
Otto Piston
BILLY: I'd like to buy a round trip ticket, please.
BILLY: Well back to here, of course.
Farah Wage
A peanut sat on the railroad track
His heart was all aflutter
A train came speeding down the track
Toot, toot! Peanut butter
Soren Rash
You can tune a piano, and you can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
Stanky Yoder
Many dead animals in the past turned into fossils. Others preferred to be oil.
Gilda Lilly
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